Prologue, in which you get to know about Purple and Blue

 

When Purple got in one of her moods, she never spoke. She let it all around her and most of the time everyone knew to keep their distances. Blue never did, never. Even though she insisted she wanted to be left alone, he still came to her.

 

(Partly because it's his destiny, his job, partly [mostly] because he loves her and wants her to know it's okay to let others see the other side of you. He shows his anger, anyway.)

 

When Blue got in one of his moods, he flew. He flew higher and higher and he grew so much. He flew over his lands, over her, circling all around, as a dark shadow, seemingly bringing death and sorrow. Purple tried to follow him but she had no wings. (Well, technically she could've made wings for herself but then she thought that maybe he needed to do this alone even if he always said she needed company while she was on her moods.)

 

They were different, one flying as a bird, one sticking to the ground, because it was hers, all of it and everyone on it, and the sky was his, even though everything was hers (was her). (That was why she left him be, it was all hers but she knew he needed to believe in having something to himself.)

 

This was all a long time after they had met for the first time. This was all, when they had settled down and decided to love each other for the rest of eternity and seek for eternal happiness.

 

But this was before they knew or maybe they did know, about the changes that were to come or perhaps had already been. As it seemed to be that no one wanted their eternal happiness.

 

**

 

In the beginning Blue was a bird. He was everywhere and he was the Guardian. (He still is but less so.)

 

Once in a while he took the form of the people living below, or maybe he was an animal, smaller than his real size. He wanted to know everyone, to connect with them. He couldn't, of course, but no one could say he didn't try.

 

When he first met Purple, he had no idea of who she was. She had all the knowledge about him, yet she didn't know should she trust him even though he was supposed to protect her and everything that was hers.

 

When he first met Purple, he accidentally made a fool of himself, had Purple laughing and finally, got hit by her. Though he did deserve it, he later decided. One shouldn't really call Purple helpless if they could avoid it.

 

**

 

In the beginning Purple thought she was alone. She was nothing but she was everywhere, giving birth to things yet unnamed.

 

When the first one was out, someone called her by her name. Not Purple, of course, even though she much prefers that, but Life. Or Giver. She answered immediately and was surprised to hear her voice.

 

“Who is it?” she asked.

 

“I am your mother, I am the first and I am the last. I have no known name nor do I wish to have. I only wish you will call me Mother or Mom or something,” the voice answered and Purple put it down as Mother.

 

Purple spent lifetimes finding the perfect name for herself (for she didn't want to hear Life) until she found the colour purple and started wearing it. She spent more lifetimes before she got bored of being alone with her Mother (“Have you learned what I told you?” “Yes, Mother.” – “Oh Purple dear, come here, I have something to show to you!” “Yes, Mother.” - - “I hope you aren't lonely.” “No, Mother.”) and decided to visit the ones she'd given birth to.

 

The first time she went travelling into the woods, she met Blue (“Have I told you the tale of the Guardian of Life?” “No, Mother.” “Would you like to hear it, Purple?” “Yes, Mother.” “There once was a bird, he called himself Blue ---”). And really, it was all so surprising. Especially the moment he called her helpless little human being and she hit him, leaving him alone.

 

**

 

Later, there was a day in which Purple told Blue about her history and Mother.

 

Later, there was a day in which Blue told Purple about his history and how he didn't remember anything more.

 

Neither of them voiced the fear that Purple might be Blue's mother until Mother told Purple he was the son of Mother's brother.

 

Purple never found out why she hadn't known about her uncle.

 

**

 

In the early days of their acquaintance, Blue knew that he had fallen for Purple, hard. Even before they got talking again and he apologized for his words and found out who she was.

 

Purple, well, she didn't exactly fall in love immediately but she felt the pull. It was Blue's job to get her see what it was and why she should enjoy it all.

 

They would stay friends until he found the right words. But they were good friends.

 

**

 

“Mother, I have met someone.”

 

“Yes, dear, I know.”

 

“I have a feeling this will be something more than the friendships I gained on my second trip.”

 

“Yes, dear, I know.”

 

“I'm afraid of this feeling.”

 

“Oh, Purple oh Life, come here my darling. It will all be fine.”

 

**

 

In human counting, it took some lifetimes before Blue had found the right words. When he finally did, it all clicked and he was kissing Purple for all he was worth.

 

She kissed right back.

 

Of course all the trouble begins here. Or ends here. Depending on from where you look at it.

 

**

 

“Mother, you said it would be alright.”

 

“It was. It is.”

 

“Then why?”

 

“You are not ready.”

 

**

 

Sometimes it takes them lifetimes of the forms they're in to get back together. Sometimes they find each other immediately. Sometimes they're brought to each other when there's a war.

 

Always they are taken apart.

 

**

 

“Mother.”

 

“Yes, Life?”

 

“Why do you keep taking us apart?”

“You are not ready.”

 

**

 

The first time Blue told Purple he loved her was too early. It was their second meeting, right after he had apologized for his words and then tried to kiss her.

 

“What are you doing?” Purple asked, staring at Blue and his hand that was now inflicting pain upon him.

 

“I love you,” Blue answered through gritted teeth. “And how are you so strong?”

 

“I told you, you don't know me. Well, you do, but you choose to ignore what is in front of you. Stupid of you, o Guardian,” Purple answered. She smiled a wicked smile (not nearly a grin) and asked: “Would you like help with that, oh great and wise?”

 

Blue flinched at the idea of having Purple touch him again (it took some time, but not that long, to grow out of that fear) and then it seemed as if he had finally understood. “You are Life.”

 

“I'd rather if you called me Purple,” she retorted. “I must be going now. Mother shall want to see me.”

 

When she disappeared, Blue smiled. And then flinched at the pain in his arm.

 

**

 

When Purple is happy, it seems the world is happy with her. Everywhere there are flowers and everyone is dancing rejoicing having fun. Blue always flies, looking happier than in ages, looking like he knows what is going on in her head. (Never does, poor thing, but then again who even could?)

 

When Blue is happy, there are no clouds unless water is needed. He gives everyone everything they need and he can provide and most of the time Purple helps him. They are a pair, they are a unit.

 

When they are happy (because one can't really be happy without the other), everyone is happy. Mostly.

 

(There's a story and the short version of it goes like this: If there is a war or people are going bad, Mother shall awaken Daughter, Life, to find her lover, Guardian. [They don't know that in fact it's the Guardian who finds Life and makes them whole.] When the two of them find their love and happiness, all shall be well again, but only with true happiness will it happen. They can't force it, they can't force everything.

 

But after that, no one knows. Everyone should be afraid, since it's quite possible that were they to get their forever after happiness, the world would be destroyed.

 

Blue and Purple never hear the story.)

 

**

 

Mother insists on meeting Blue after Purple tells her about him. “Yes, Mother,” Purple immediately answers and then, wondering, asks: “Right now or later?”

 

“Whenever you wish. It would be better, of course, that he were informed first so he could make himself ready for the meeting,” Mother answers, smiling, and Purple smiles back, relieved.

 

“Yes, Mother,” she laughs.

 

**

 

When Blue first meets Mother, he's still quite shaken by the fact that Life's mother wants to meet him. Mother reads this in his being and smiles comfortingly.

 

“I should hope I'm not that intimidating,” she says to him. “Please, call me Gaia.”

 

Blue is in awe of this woman already when Purple brings them drinks. “Thank you .. Gaia, but you must realise what an honour this is for me.”

 

Purple just arriving, laughs and so does Mother. “I should hope you're not proposing to her, you would be too young to be my stepfather,” Purple tells him and he blushes.

 

“You know my feelings--”

 

“She's just teasing you, Blue,” Mother Gaia interrupts him. She smiles fondly at Purple. “I do believe you two will go together very well. Brilliantly even.” She thinks but does not voice: But I'm afraid it'll take time, a very long time, until I can let you find the truest of happinesses, for of course it is her that begins the story that the two of them can never hear.

 

Purple doesn't answer. She doesn't believe in love yet.

 

Blue doesn't answer but his face turns incredibly red.

 

**

 

When Purple finally realises it's love, she's in a garden Blue made for her. She is walking with Blue flying over her, in silence.

 

The realisation makes her stop on her tracks.

 

“Blue,” she says, “I love you.”

 

Blue changes his form and kisses Purple.

 

**

 

When it all comes to an end the first time, they forget immediately.

But the feelings stay there, hidden.

 

Their new lives are completely different. It takes them lifetimes to find each other again. But they always do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First Chapter, filled with deaths, nonsense and Purple and Blue finding each other again for the first time

 

“I don't want to,” a golden-haired girl whines. “Don't want to, don't wanna, don't!”

 

“It's not about want. We have to go,” her father tells her, with tears in his eyes.

 

“But papa! I want mama!” the girl cries out.

 

The father hugs her. “I know, Tina. I know. But mama is in heaven now.” He tightens his grip when she starts shaking with uncontrolled sobs. “That's why we have to go. I love you. I love you so very much.” He stands up carrying the girl and walks to their car. “Try to sleep darling,” he says, setting her down and walking to his door. He starts the car (it sounds like the gunshot that killed his wife. He tries to ignore it, harden himself for his daughter, so he'll be able to drive) and they leave.

 

(They never arrive at their destination. The girl doesn't see what's going to happen, the father prays they'll end up in heaven with the mother.)

 

**

 

He feels important. General Martin, Dave Martin. First class. His goal in life has always been to get in the army, to change the world, to finally end the war. (He ignores his sister's voice in the back of his head saying: “You can't make peace with guns. Not really. It'll end badly.”)

 

“General?” someone's voice interrupts his internal thoughts.

 

“Yes?”

 

“The enemy is closing in.”

 

Dave smile slowly. “Let's go. Is everyone in position?”

 

“Yes, general.”

 

“Good. Thank you, Holler.”

 

The soldier nods and follows Dave to the fight.

 

(Holler will take a shot meant for the general but that won't save him. Dave's last thought will be one of his sister, “I guess you were right, after all.”)

 

**

 

“You are far too gleeful, Gaia,” he says.

 

“Oh shut it, Werner. I am planning. They must find each other to end this madness,” Gaia answers seeking for a way to connect Purple and Blue again. “Besides, you're the one who appreciates war, who makes it once in a while. You never listen to reason.”

 

“You still love me,” Werner pouts. He doesn't deny Gaia's words, knowing them to be quite true. “And say what you will, you've been enjoying the war far more than you have admitted, thinking you've let it go on for so long. You could've brought them together much earlier.”

 

“It has to be believable. Besides, haven't you been listening to me at all? The world has been going to a horrible direction, it's good to get rid of some percentage of the people one in a while!” Gaia responds and suddenly she gasps. “Finally.” She waves her hand dismissively at Werner. “If you don't mind. I have important things to do.”

 

Werner sighs. “Whatever, my dear.”

 

“Your highness,” Gaia corrects him. “At this moment I am your highness”

 

“Your highness. I will leave you to your duties that must be of the highest security classification.” Werner walks out of the room.

 

“Don't destroy everything,” Gaia shouts after him, ignoring the sarcasm in his reply. “I need everything intact, even if parts are destroyed or killed!”

 

“Yes, your highness,” Werner's voice calls from the hallway.

 

“And leave Purple and Blue alone! I finally have a plan, I don't want to have to start from scrap because you've decided to play with them again. Don't think I didn't know you'd been thinking about the possibility!”

 

Gaia smiles a little when she hears Werner's curses before returning to the task at hand.

 

**

 

Suzie's eighteenth birthday is full of grenades, gunshots and blood. When she wakes up to the sirens, she laughs. She had never thought she'd really live to see this day.

 

When she falls back against the pillows in the dark room under the ground, she notices someone standing in the doorway. “Dad?”

 

Her father emerges from the shadows and smiles a small smile. “Happy birthday, Suzie. I have to tell you something today.”

 

“What's wrong?” Suzie asks, nearly panicking. “Is Helen okay?”

 

“Your sister's alright. Nothing's wrong. Well. Nothing of that kind anyway.” He takes a deep breath and sits down on Suzie's make-do bed. Then he opens his mouth. “Do you remember the stories I used to tell you?”

 

“Lady in Purple and Blue Wings, you mean?” Suzie asks, confused. Her father nods. “What about them?”

 

“It's time I told you that those stories are all true, and, quite frankly, you are Purple.”

 

“But- how?”

 

“I assume Gaia, your real mother, might know the answer to that. And. Well. I am Blue,” the father whispers. “I am Blue and it's so horrible because I knew the moment you were born and I was in love with you from the first moment I saw you, but at the same moment I couldn't have, I was, am, your father in this life and it's all so wrong.”

 

Suzie's eyes widened in shock. “No.”

 

“I assumed I would have to make you see your love to me again. And see that I really do love you. In a way I shouldn't since I am your father in this world but in reality you are so much older than me,” Blue says. “I – you want to be alone for some time?”

 

Suzie – Purple – only nods.

 

**

 

“You are crazy.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“I have no idea what you see in incest.”

 

“It was the fastest way I could think of.”

 

“Eighteen human years to have Blue even telling her.”

 

“And so many more annoying people destroyed.”

 

“You are horrible.”

 

**

 

When he wakes up, he's sweating. Nightmare. Or maybe it all happened.

 

He stands up, starts walking towards the door with a limp. Then he stops. A limp? He didn't have a limp the day before, but in the dream – he starts running.

 

“No,” he whispers, over and over again and when he reaches the stairs, he shouts. He shouts and shouts and shouts until his voice is gone.

 

He had always known he was a sleepwalker. He had always been a soldier. But he had never thought he might kill in his dreams.

 

His tears fell silently as he moved to cradle his wife's body.

 

(In the shadows someone is looking over them, smirking, and cleaning the gun. The dreams, he thinks, are a good way to make someone a murderer. In their own mind. Even if someone else is behind it all.)

 

**

 

Suzie takes the steps slowly and exhales. “Father? Blue?” she whispers into the darkness, careful not to let her voice grow too loud in fear of soldiers or anyone with a gun.

 

“Yes?” Blue's voice comes from right of her. She turns to look into the darkness.

 

“How is it possible?”

 

Blue sighs. His eyes are closed, Suzie notices as she walks towards him. “I don't know. I don't – I hate this.”

 

“I still can't believe it,” Suzie says as she's standing in front of her father. “You say that we – we're lovers! But you're my father, it's not – it's not acceptable!”

 

“Oh don't I know that. Incest – the thought of it – I almost left when you were born so that you wouldn't know and maybe it would've made this all easier, but I couldn't because there's a war – there's a chaos outside. And I was afraid that if I left, you might die. And. And I did really love your mother, I couldn't have left her alone. And she knew, you know. I know she did. At least about you. I never told her who I was, because – because I thought she would've made me leave and even if I loved, love will love, you always more, I still loved her dearly. And your sister, too,” Blue talks too fast and there are weird pauses and he gasps air when he finishes, looking at his daughter, at his lover, at this very complicated situation.

 

Suzie stays quiet for a long while. She wonders, ponders, mulls it all over. “How can I know you're telling the truth?”

 

“That's the thing – I don't know. I don't know what will make you remember, really remember.” Blue sighs, rubbing his forehead. “I just wish it won't require too much.”

 

**

 

The war began 100 years ago. Or maybe earlier, no one remembers. But 100 years ago a man declared a war against his country and somehow it seemed he was unbreakable, immortal. In the first three days he had killed twenty odd police officers who had been trying to get him out of his house.

 

In ten days he had gained his own army.

 

In twenty, he wasn't the only one declaring a war.

 

On the fiftieth day there was chaos in order in most of the countries.

 

**

 

Michelle doesn't believe in peace. Can't. She was born into war, chaos, anarchy, depending on whom you asked from, and there had yet to be a peaceful day in her life. The first murder she witnessed was her brother's. She had just turned four, which was quite old, but she had lived in a basement with no daylight for the previous years. It had been her birthday gift, to be let out for the first time in her life. It had torn her mother to pieces and reduced her father into a crying mess.

 

The first time Michelle killed a person she was ten years old. Her mother was long dead (she had been drugged, killed and raped, in that order, in front of Michelle when the girl was seven) and her father had started teaching her to use a gun for he wanted her to be able to defend herself. The first person Michelle killed was her father. It was an accident, she tells you if you ask. (He had gone round the bend and started seeing Michelle's mother in Michelle and the gunshot was the only way how she knew how to defend herself.)

 

After that she's been managing, surviving.

 

Today, she's celebrating or remembering the deaths of her family. Drinking heavily and thinking that if death were to take her today, she would go happily.

 

(She would have died if she hadn't been taught to use guns since she was a child. She leaves three bodies behind her when she heads back to home from the bar.)

 

**

 

The first six months of the war chaos whatever were the worst. Blood and bodies and death everywhere. Rapes and murders and robberies. The shops closed their doors, the bars all closed down, everything so quiet and dead. Attacks against everything and everyone.

 

After the six months the first barkeepers opened their doors with the warning that if anyone tried to kill someone in, they'd die first. After that, little by little, everything opened up again.

 

But in the streets it was as dangerous as it had been for months. When one stepped out of a bar, it was a miracle if no bullets flew over them or in them.

 

A miracle indeed.

 

**

 

"Gaia, you are pure evil," Werner decides when he steps into Gaia's kingdom, or well queendom.

 

"Oh am I now?" Gaia asks, smiling innocently at him. She is writing something and her head is bowed down over the paper.

 

"How are the young lovers doing?"

 

Smirking Gaia turns around. "It's funny how you, of all people, call them young, when you are one of the few to know how much older than you they are."

 

"I'm the one settled in with you, the one keeping you company. The one you made to make you feel less alone, to make you feel younger. I'm supposed to think they are young," Werner shrugs and walks to the chair next to Gaia's. "Besides, you know as well as I do that the two of them will never really grow up. Never. No matter what you keep telling yourself."

 

"They might. With time. And children."

 

"Oh," Werner gasps. "I had not anticipated that."

 

"In time, my dearest. In time. It's not like it's going to happen in the next few lifetimes!" Gaia laughs and throws a book at Werner. "You're doing this on purpose."

 

"So what if I am?"

 

"Do continue distracting me."

 

"So your incestous lovers can continue lying to themselves or maybe they'll finally find each other?" Werner asks out of curiosity.

 

"Blue knows, you know. Purple, my dearest daughter, has to be, well, persuaded. Filled with love. Something along those lines," Gaia answers slowly. She looks into Werner's eyes. "You should do your distracting now."

 

**

 

Suzie wants answers. She's always wanted to know everything; "Why did mother die?" "Why do I need to be able to handle a gun?" "Why are everyone so evil?" and, after she'd turned fourteen, "Has there ever been a time when there was peace?"

 

Now she's asking herself all the questions - she can't really go to her sister and tell her: "Oh, you know, the stories about Blue and Purple dad told us? Apparently they're true and dad's Blue and I'm Purple and we're supposed to be in love. So, how do I go round falling in love with my own father?" Nor could she go to her father and ask him something. He wouldn't have the answers, even though he always had had them in the past.

 

So she sits alone in her room, meditates, asks questions. "How do I know if he's telling the truth? What if he just is weird? What if it's all in his head? What if it is the truth? What if I have to fall for my father and have sex with him?" (Of course she knew about sex, she was eighteen and living in a chaos. Of course she'd had her part of the orgies that were assembled all around the town she was living in. Of course. Of course she thought it odd to even think about such thoughts about her father, no matter how well she knew that they wouldn't be the first nor would they be the last. The forced way of living so close with so little possibilities of meeting new people that wouldn't want to kill you - well if you already had a family and your wife died and you had a willing daughter - it happened. More often than not.)

 

Sometimes she thinks she's sometime before wondered about the same questions. And then there's the flutter of blue, in her memories, but she can't quite grasp it.

 

After hours or maybe days she still has no clue as to what to do.

 

**

 

Michelle brings meat from the shop and starts eating it raw. She's never cared for cooked meat, she's never cared to learn how to cook. It was always enough, it will always be enough. Raw meat, that is.

 

She's on a leg of a pork when she hears something, someone walking down the stairs to her door. She lets the leg fall as she grabs her gun and silently walks to the door. There's a silent knock and she asks "who's there" with the gun pointing at the door.

 

"I'm, um, I'm someone who might want your help and maybe help you in return. I'm from the peace offerer's station," the voice of a man answers sheepishly.

 

Michelle stays on her guard and tells the stranger to open the door so she can see him and still point the gun at him. "You know, or you should know, that I don't much care for peace," she tells the tall man that appears in front of her. "That, in fact, I'm quite a soldier myself. That I've killed many a man."

 

The man was calm as he looked into Michelle's eyes. "Oh I know that. That is exactly why I've come. Let me introduce myself - John Lear." He held out his hand and shook hands with Michelle who was astonished.

 

"But - peace office? You?" she stated, incredulously. "You are the one who beat everyone, the one who shot three men with one bullet, the one who --"

 

"Yes, I am aware. I work for the peace office as a helper, I help them with taking supplies to shops and bars and so forth since everyone is afraid of me and my name. Now, I've come to make an offer to you," John states. He looks around himself and spots a chair. "Maybe over a cup of tea, yes?"

 

Michelle nods and saunters off to make the tea. "Do sit down anywhere you like. Just - look before you sit. I've had to clean up a few bodies in the last month because some people are oddly careless even if I tell them to look before sitting down." John nods though she can't see and the water is warming up. "So, been busy?"

 

Trying small talk with the person one admires most has always been considered hard, quite often awkward. This situation is no different, Michelle knows and curses herself.

 

"Oh, well. Had a holiday and am now back in business. I wonder if anyone even noticed I was gone since it's been so quiet except for the three dead men in an alley behind the closest bar to you," John answers and Michelle tries hard to fight off a smile. She fights a losing battle.

 

"Well that. It was completely their fault, I didn't want to end up as the body there," she says, dismissively even though secretly she enjoys that he's noticed. The water boils and she picks the pot to pour water into two mugs. "So, what are you offering?"

 

"Work. The peace offices are short on shooters. It goes against their beliefs but even they know they have nothing if they haven't got any shooters there. That everything they were trying to get from place A to place B would be stolen before their arrival and they would all be dead. The pay would be in cash and in food or whatever you would like to have," John explains and Michelle's eyes shine.

 

For some time they both just sip at their tea before Michelle answers: "So, when can I start?"

 

**

 

He tells himself it's all alright. (The body in his arms is cold and unmoving. It does not smell, not yet at least, and won't if he keeps it in the cold.)

 

He tells himself she's still alive that the night he shouted and shouted and shouted was just a dream.

 

He tells himself that he didn't kill her even though it seems obvious he did.

 

He tells her stories, how he went to the store without his gun and survived. He thinks he hears her laughter ringing in his ears and then the words, “but darling, you know it's so dangerous. You really shouldn't,” and when it all vanishes, he weeps into her clothes.

 

(Someone's lurking around, staring, laughing quietly as he goes mad with her body.)

 

**

 

Blue doesn't really know what to do with Purple-Suzie. Helen is playing with her dolls, war games, death sentences, murders. His face shows the sadness, he remembers the time before all this, when anyone could be happy. Helen is just 10 years old, she shouldn't have to know all the horrible things in the world. Neither should Suzie. But they were born in the middle of chaos and there's nothing to it.

 

Even though Blue knows that when Purple tells him she loves him, it will all improve a bit, he can't tell that to her. Suzie, not remembering, not feeling, would try to force it out, and it wouldn't help the situation at all. So he just waits. Suffocates the love of his life with love.

 

Cherishes her.

 

“Dad, look! It's mum!” Helen cries out holding one of the dolls. Blue looks and his face twists in horror when he realises the doll's heart has been ripped out and so has her stomach.

 

He wonders how much Helen remembers and if there's a way to make her forget. How much Suzie remembers and will she remember for the rest of eternity. (Will he remember for the rest of eternity?)

 

**

 

When it all started, the population of the planet was 6,451,531,472. Now, 100 years later, the population can't really be counted but it's estimated at some (otanko tänki pois 531,)582,135.

 

No one wants to think about it, but really it's on everyone's minds that sooner or later everyone will join the dead, quite likely sooner. Especially if they're born to the families that still think Peace is a possibility and won't teach their kids to kill (the children die at ten years, tops, and then soon after that the parents become careless and die, too. In the beginning most people wanted Peace, thus causing a great drop in population).

 

If it ever ends, the ones who know anything about things are hoping that there'll still be enough people to make a rise.

 

The ending seems nearly impossible.

 

**

 

Suzie's laying on a rooftop of a destroyed building. She's thinking and she's angry and she's decided to take it out on people. She has the rifle in her hands and she's looking at the scene opening in front of her. She looks for hiding people who are targeting at innocents doing shopping and that lot. It takes her no more than five minutes to find five lurkers. She aims and takes them down, one at a time. None of the shoppers will be any wiser that their lives have just been saved.

 

She rolls on her back and starts an inner monologue.

 

If I truly am Purple, shouldn't I know? Shouldn't I feel it? Shouldn't I be able to know? But if it is something I have to do to remember – something concerning my fath- Blue. If it's something I'm not quite ready to do – he has shown me his love and affection so many times but what if it's just a tendency to incest, what if he's just using the story to try to get in my pants, what if -? But then again, what if I am Purple and what if remembering could make the war stop and save Helen and everyone and what if I should just trust him and try to find out how to make this work? How, how can I know? Is it just blind trust?

 

**

 

“The army has fallen. I repeat, the army is down.”

 

Lucy stares at the radio mesmerized. She thinks about her brother and wonders what has become of him. He was in the army, he wanted to make Peace with guns even though she had said it was impossible, that someone would – what if he's dead?

 

“The attack was a strong one and heaps of bodies are being burned to avoid all and any diseases. No one is to go looking for the dead, no one knows how many there were and if anyone survived.”

 

Lucy hears the pauses, the nearly non-existent pauses that mean that he doesn't believe anyone has – could have – survived. The tears come into her eyes as she thinks of her brother. “Oh Dave. You and your silly ideas,” she sobs and then hardens herself. She had anticipated this, all the time, she'd been ready for this. She'd known her brother to be even more likely to die than herself, giving his life to the army, thinking it would make a change.

 

She grabs her knives, her favourite weapons, and goes hunting to drown the sorrow and all the tears that might happen.

 

**

 

“What,” Gaia starts before anyone has noticed she's got behind them, “is going on in here?”

 

There are lights and candles floating and put to wall. Of every colour. “We're celebrating Christmas.”

 

“In my queendom when you know it is just a silly thing human beings made up? What ever put the idea in your head? Well, let's hear it!” Gaia insists.

 

“The humans! We were looking through the files yesterday and this sounds so much fun! Presents and fun and songs and colours and candles,” a small but insistent voice says.

 

Gaia frowns. She looks down at all the kids around her. “Would you mind taking your own shapes? I'm having hard time at not snapping at you and I would appreciate if I didn't have to do that for you. And then, Werner, I have to talk to you.”

 

**

“I love you,” Blue whispers into Suzie's hair. “I love you.”
 

Suzie's sleeping. Or rather pretending to sleep. Her breath hitches when Blue pets her hair.

 

“I wish this wasn't the situation, I wish you'd remember, I wish – I wish it could all change,” Blue keeps on talking, knowing Suzie isn't really sleeping. “I love you.”

 

Suzie starts crying. “Stop it stop it stop it! I hate it, I hate myself for not remembering, I hate you. I hate hate hate!” She turns around and looks at Blue, her eyes full of tears. “Do you know how much pressure you're putting on my shoulders? I feel like the war is on my shoulders, because if you are telling the truth – well, it kind of is. I'm just eighteen! At least in this life. You just – you shouldn't have told me!”

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

“It isn't enough! Nothing is! I know you've waited for eighteen years but still!” Suzie shouts and then shuts her mouth. “Oh god is Helen sleeping? I hope she doesn't hear us.”

 

“I'm sorry and that's all I can really say, I can't take it back, I would if I could, I'm really sorry, I really am,” Blue says standing up. “And Helen's sleeping in the furthest room. I'll go check on her, I know you need some time.” He leaves Suzie sobbing on the bed.

 

Suzie sobs sobs and thinks. A few moments later she stares at Blue as he comes back. “She's gone!” Blue says and they're in a hurry leaving for looking her, not able to continue their discussion any more.

 

(In three hours they find Helen's body and Suzie's world comes crashing down and she feels even more responsible because had she remembered her past, she could've saved Helen. Could've saved them all. Blue tries to make her realise it's not her fault but she won't listen to reason. She thinks about running away, giving herself to death, but Blue holds her still and finally she breaks down, crying into his shirt until there are no more tears.)

 

**

 

Michelle shoots. “Idiots,” she mutters under her breath and looks around the area. “Clear!” she shouts and a truck filled with food leaves the warehouse. Michelle jumps on its roof and keeps on looking for thieves, shooters and everyone. She is quite good ate recognising those who are trying to survive from those who are hunting.

 

They manage to get over twenty kilometres before Michelle spots a group of hunters. She gives the driver a mark to stop driving. When they've stopped, she lies down, aims and starts taking down the hunters one by one. As soon as the first one falls, bullets start flying in her direction. She manages to take every one of the hunters down without getting any injuries. She's good at her job.

 

“Clear,” she shouts again ad they continue their journey.

 

(She's hit in the right leg on the ride but they manage to get to their destination. She limps on the injured foot and curses. “Why can't they even aim better?” she wonders out loud to John before leaving for home.)

 

**

 

“I told you to leave them alone,” Gaia rages at Werner.

 

“But I did nothing to them!” Werner answers innocently. He's sitting down, cross-legged. “She was a mere human being.”

 

“She was Blue's daughter and Purple's sister,” Gaia says and sighs. Then her eyes start gleaming. “Then again, this might just be the catalyst to make Purple remember her feelings and self.”

 

Werner stares at Gaia. “You are really even more cruel than I am. And colder.”

 

“So you really were trying to destroy my hard work, weren't you? You know I will punish you for that even though you may have helped my cause,” Gaia tells Werner in a dangerous voice. “I've been thinking. You are a bit boring. I might want a new young war maniac. You are replaceable.”

 

“You wouldn't.”

 

“Watch me. Will you try to make this up to me? Or will you face my wrath?”

 

Werner sighs, scared though he tries not to show it. “How can I make this up to you?”

 

“Destroy the Christmas little ones are trying to do. It's giving me headache,” Gaia answers and grins when Werner's face goes ashen. “You can do it.”

 

**

 

Every ten years or so, everyone drops their guns for a day on the day the war began. Or somewhere close that, no one really remembers or knows when it happened or what day it is. The radio makes them stop, or the person speaking there, and everyone listens to the androgynous voice.

 

“We have all gathered today and tonight to remember those who have died in vain,” it says after it has informed them that it is the Day of No guns. “We are no closer to Peace than we were in the beginning, but we are nearly not as many as we used to be. Perhaps in the future Peace will come to us and make us see reason. Until then we will keep on killing because that is the only way of staying alive.”

 

No one ever corrects the voice, no one ever thinks about solutions. This is how it has been for a hundred years, this is how it will all be. There is no possibility of living the Day of No guns again and again and again, day after day, until it becomes the norm, again. (The oldest living person is 58 years old so there is no one to remember the days long since passed.)

 

“We shall live in chaos, for that is what we have always done. We will keep on looking for Peace, but we will not stop fighting and defending ourselves from the guns that everyone owns. We are one but we are enemies, we shall celebrate today and we shall celebrate all day and night. We shall celebrate war and all the ones that have died. We shall celebrate by leaving our guns at home today. By drinking and eating and remembering the days of Peace. And tomorrow we will go back to chaos, to the life we've always known.”

 

Someone might say it was propaganda. Usually they died in a dark alleyway as soon as the word left their mouth.

 

**

 

The body has finally started rotting. He sees it and he smells it but he doesn't care. He sleeps with it, he doesn't even try to preserve the body anymore.

 

He whispers his love to his wife's ear (it's fallen off but he still whispers in it) and he kisses her mouth and tells about his day. He tries to make her eat, though it's getting harder all the time.

 

(At night he sometimes makes love to her – it – and the someone in the house stares, horrified at first, but then they get used to it. It becomes their ritual, and the someone is wondering, what will happen when the wife is nothing more than bones.)

 

**

 

Werner sighs. It is evenfall and he has to do what Gaia has told him to do.

 

“Werner!” Gwendolyn shouts. “Coming back to help us make Christmas?”

 

“Actually I'm here to tell you how stupid the whole Christmas thing is We should just destroy everything,” Werner answers and throws one of the toy Santas into the wall. He doesn't unleash his powers, at least not yet.

 

Gwendolyn covers her ears. “What? Why?!” she asks, stupefied.

 

Werner looks at her and gives her a glimpse of his and Gaia''s discussion.

 

“Oh! I'm sorry. Do destroy everything and anything,” Gwendolyn sympathises.

 

“As long as you'll pretend to hate me for a while and to be very displeased by my actions..”

 

Gwendolyn nods leaving Werner to destroy their Christmas settings.

 

**

 

“Will it end immediately?” Suzie asks Blue when they're eating dinner one night.

 

Blue pushes his nearly empty plate away. “I don't know. The last time we were happy together, everything was just fine, actually even better. Then suddenly we were separated. We had just started planning our wedding. But it was our happiness that made everyone else happy and good,” he answers remembering the past and a smile creeps onto his face.

 

“So it might take years,” Suzie says, ignoring Blue's happiness. “It might take lifetimes.”

 

Blue sighs and the smile vanishes. “Yes. It might.”

 

“I really hate you.”

 

Blue nods and tells her he loves her. It's come to be their kind of code already.

 

“I really don't want to hear that anymore,” Suzie tells him. She's been thinking about the fact for so long already. “I really don't think it helps at all.”

 

Blue looks deep into her eyes, like he's trying to connect with her soul. “Very well. If it bothers you so much, I'll try to avoid saying it. I'm sorry.”

 

“Stop saying you're sorry! I know, really, I know! You can do nothing about it so – just leave it. Please. Just answer me when I ask you, yeah? I really don't want to feel so – so useless because for some reason I just. Can't. Remember and help. Do you understand?” Without waiting for an answer Suzie runs out and leaves Blue staring after her.

 

**

 

Wishes never come true, Michelle thinks. When one wishes to live, they die. When I wish to die, I live. Slowly she smiles and looks John in the eyes.

 

“So you have a death wish?” he asks when they're sitting at her place, eating dinner. Or rather finishing it.

 

“I've always had. Don't tell me you don't, you wouldn't be doing your job if you didn't. At least you have to be ready for death, since there's always the possibility that someone hits you,” Michelle answers. She smirks when he nods.

 

“Of course. But I don't actively seek death as you sometimes seem to do. You go out every day and night, knowing very well there's likely to be a sniper on some rooftop, aiming at you. What I don't understand is why,” John says. He watches Michelle devour the food before continuing. “You're still young. I've already seen a lot, lived a full life. I don't have that much to wait for, I don't believe in peace.”

 

Michelle smiles. “Peace is an illusion. There's an easy way for it to happen, but well. I know it, you know it, mostly everyone knows it but they ignore it. And as to why – on my fourth birthday I watched my brother's brain blow out. It was downhill from there. My mother was drugged, killed and then raped in front of me when I was seven. After that my father taught me to kill. And he was the first person I ever killed. The world Is cruel. I'd rather not live in it but I'd like to think that with what I do I help some of those who still believe and want to live for another day, that's why I haven't killed myself. It's a risky life, because that's exactly what I want. I have no one close to me left. I've been living on my own since I was ten. You see?” she tells him and takes a sip of wine. “I want to risk my life tonight, too, if you're up for it.”

 

John's still mulling over everything she's told him and he stares at her when he realises her question. He admires her bluntness. “I'd thought you had had a cruel life but not that bad. And yes. I would like that.”

 

“Shall we skip dessert or take it to bed with us?” Michelle asks, smiling devilishly.

 

“What were you going to serve?” John asks. He's enchanted by her lip movement.

 

“Chocolate mousse,” Michelle answers and the way how John's lips quirk upwards make her jump up and get the mousse. “Take the wine and follow me!” she orders leaving the room.

 

(Three months later she would regret this were she still alive. “Pregnant,” she'd sigh. “Fuck.”)

 

**

 

“It was the thought of loneliness that drove her into insanity even though even now, twenty years later, she would still say that everyone was wrong when they thought like that because really, she had never even thought about being alone let alone been alone but no one would listen to her – I mean she was already insane, of course she must have forgotten or thrown aside the facts that everyone else knew, right, she couldn't have been telling the truth saying aliens had abducted her and used her for breeding for the three years – oh I wasn't telling about that woman was I, I was talking about the insane alone woman yeah, the one who was abandoned in the middle of the forest in a cabin when she had gone round the bend and started throwing things and threatening everyone or was I talking about someone else, like the woman who had abandoned her children because she'd been – but no, now I remember who I was talking about – the lonely woman who was – is – afraid of being abandoned as soon as everyone leaves her or her mouth is shut and the train of thoughts is cut in the middle – she really likes talking, it makes her feel less alone and believe that everyone listens to her because of course all the things she says make sense and it is all so very important and good, like that one time when she was a witness and in court she explained everything very, very carefully, even all her steps she recalled and it was all so very serious but halfway through people started laughing at her and she felt naked and stupid when only a moment ago she had felt important but then it couldn't be if everyone was laughing – but that's all so very sad, better example must be the time in school when she had to talk about talking and she could've spoken for hours but she had a time so she had to try to fit everything in fifteen minutes and the teacher had to stop her by force – oh that's not good, either – maybe the first time she was in a bar and a disgusting man started hitting on her and she started talking with him – or maybe at him – and he listened listened for the longest time, maybe an hour before he left and she was surprised and happy and sad and what was I even try talking about in the beginning oh yes I was tel--”

 

The woman fell down on the floor when a bullet hit her heart.

 

“I can't understand how you've been able to listen to that for days,” the man with the gun says and turns to look at his companion.

 

“Oh come on! I had thought to keep her and use her as a part of torture. I'm pretty sure everyone would start talking after a few minutes with her,” the other man says, sulking a bit.

 

The first man thinks about it for a while. “Well. I'm sorry. I'll find you another babbler?”

 

“That'd be nice.”

 

**

 

“Are you planning something evil?” Werner asks Gaia when he enters her rooms. She doesn't bother to answer. “I destroyed Christmas.”

 

“But you told Gwendolyn why. That was not what I meant and you know that” Gaia answers. “And Blue and Purple are not reacting as I'd hoped.”

 

Werner goes white. Gaia doesn't notice this at all. She doesn't even really take any notice of Werner until he speaks up. “So, what have you been doing?”

 

“Destroying lives, manipulating... taking my frustration out on the people whose life you've made hell,” Gaia answers.

 

“The babbler death was your doing,” Werner states, not bothering to mask it as a question.

 

“Yes. Now, go away. You're ruining my day,” she answers. “Otherwise your death might be my doing, too.”

 

Werner leaves.

 

**

 

He opens his eyes slowly and then very fast. “Wh- who are you?” Then he notices what's happening. “And what the hell are you doing?”

 

“My name is not important. You can call me Mare. Or Mear. Whatever. And I am just doing what you've been doing every night after you finally brought her back to your bed,” the stranger answers, not stopping his movements.

 

“Wha – Dianne, why aren't you stopping this Mear guy? Why?” the man asks.

 

Mear laughs. “Seriously, Alexander. Your wife is dead. Her arms are rotting, she smells of death. You can't believe she's alive anymore.” He stops and moves closer to Alexander. “And you know what? You didn't kill her.” He brings his face very close to Alexander's. “I did.”

 

Alexander moves back. “But. No. You're lying. Tell him, Dianne!” he shouts and shove Mear back.

 

“Oh dear, you're in shock,” Mear says giddily. “Snap out of it. I'm not killing you until you do, it won't be any fun otherwise.” He jumps out of the bed. “I wish you a good day, sir. Until next time.”

 

Alexander is still talking to his wife, not noticing the stranger leaving the room.

 

**

 

The world has no order. Even though really, it's all in order and there are people behind it all. Everyone knows this has to be true but most of the people choose to ignore the fact and believe that the world has really reached total chaos in which there are a few rules, but mostly anything is allowed and done.

 

No one really raises an eyebrow anymore if someone marries their sister, father, mother, brother, nor asks questions if they have kids. There are no real ways to connect with new people, what with having to look around all the time in the fear that someone's behind the bush, going to shoot you in the time you blink your eyes.

 

All the animals have disappeared and gone wild. There's no point in keeping pets, unless it's in the thought of eating it later on since meat is very expensive and mostly no one has money to buy it themselves. The people living in forests have made a kind of peace with each other, only killing of strangers, and marrying unrelated people.

 

Chaos is everywhere and the chaos is beautifully orchestrated by people hidden under layers and yet again another layers.

 

Somewhere, deep within, there's the main brain.

 

**

 

Blue is talking to himself, remembering. He's stuck, even though he can change back into himself – that's when the idea comes to him. Maybe Purple – Suzie – will remember if she sees him in his truest form. Maybe it will make everything clearer.

“Suzie!” he shouts. “Suzie, would you go to the forest with me?”

When Suzie asks if he's crazy, he just smiles and shakes his head. Slowly she nods that she'll go, on the condition that they find someone else to come with them, too. She's so tired of being only alone with him.

 

**

 

Alexander's finally accepted her death. He's ripping of the bits of skin that still cover her bones, gently tugging at them in their bathroom. When he's got everything off, he puts her bones into the bath and scrubs the bones until they're pure white.

 

He puts them all back together and carries her to their guest room. Somehow he's not surprised to see Mear inhabiting it.

 

“You've got over your shock, then?” Mear asks, looking at the skeleton Alexander's carrying. The latter nods. “I still don't think I want to kill you yet.”

 

“Would you like to choose her outfit?” Alexander asks, not caring about the threat Mear poses. He knows he will die anyway. Better get acquainted with his future killer than live the rest of his life in fear.

 

Mear looks surprised and then nods, slowly. “Where're her clothes?”

 

“In our bedroom. The closets on the right side. I'd like her to have something colourful, don't you think?”

 

Mear nods again and leaves the room.

 

**

 

The bar is nearly empty when Michelle steps in. No one dares to try to shoot her nowadays, she has a reputation of killing three men eyes closed. That helps her life though she still thinks that it's not really worth anything.

 

She orders a gin tonic before heading for her table. She frowns when she sees someone already sitting at it. “Who are you?” she questions when she reaches the table.

 

The stranger, a man, quite tall, looks into her eyes. “You're Michelle, right?” She nods and he hums in approval. “I am known as Jared but really, my name is Blue. I need some help.”

 

Michelle sits down. This Blue guy seems interesting enough.

 

**

 

“I found a perfect replacement for your last babbler! She's not speaking because of the tape on her mouth, but she will not let you have a word!”

 

“And hello to you, too, Hans. I am – ah – a bit busy at the moment, why won't you leave her in the kitchen? And while you're there, bring me a beer.”

 

“I'm not working for you, Tomas. I'll leave you to it. I hope you'll be pleased with this one. I'm going hunting, see you later.”

 

“Oh but one can try. Bye!”

 

**

 

Lucy's in her basement, as any sane people would be. She's playing with her knives and thinking about archery and abandoning the idea just as fast. She's good with her knives, not so good with the bow. It'd take years of training to master archery and she doesn't believe she'd live long enough were she training.

 

Some crazy person had brought her Dave's last letter, on which someone had written 'Deceased' and she'd read it with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. Now all she can think is that at least he died doing what he'd wanted to. At least he'd reached for his dream, she never had. (But only a crazy person would try to destroy chaos with more chaos and bring peace by death. So what if she'd always said war wouldn't bring peace? She could still try.)

 

She decides it's a time for a night out. Clubbing. She puts the knives in her bag and wishes for hunters to come after her. She wants to see their faces when they realise they've turned into hunted. Ah, maybe not clubbing then. Maybe she'll just go hunting, out in the open.

 

It's what she does best.

 

**

 

“Would you look at that,” Gaia exclaims. “They might finally be making some sort of progress. Gwendolyn, darling. Would you go and make sure they'll make their journey in one piece?” It's not really a request.

 

“Yes, your highness,” Gwendolyn answers. She disappears and Gaia smiles as she sees her entering the realm in which Purple and Blue are situated.

 

“Werner, could you try not to interrupt these plans? I am serious about replacing you. Just so you understand,” Gaia warns Werner and the smile is still on her face. “It'd be a pity to replace you but then again, sometimes one has to make hard decisions.”

 

“I won't, my highness. I won't.” He looks grave and bows down to Gaia. “I understand perfectly and I will do everything in my power to help you.”

 

“Keeping your hands out of everything for a few human days would be appreciated,” Gaia states. Werner nods and leaves the rooms to shake and sob in his own area.

 

**

 

“I'll be leaving town for a couple of days,” Michelle tells John when they're laying on bed. “This man, Blue, hired me to help him in some stuff and I promised to.” She's smoking for the first time since she was fifteen and she smiles.

 

John frowns. “Where? Will you be long?”

 

“Somewhere, I don't even know. And to that, I don't know. Why? Will you miss me?” she asks and laughs. She puffs the smoke at his face and closes her eyes. “I mean, you always have stuff to do when I'm not around.”

 

John is quiet for a moment until he speaks up. “I will.” When Michelle just stares at him, not understanding, he continues: “Miss you, I mean. And so what if I can fill my days with nonsenes, I'd rather spend them with you.”

 

Michelle stares at him, her mouth open. “No. Oh no. Tell me you're not serious.”

 

“But I am. Deadly serious,” John answers. “I have feelings for you, haven't you noticed?”

 

“I'm oblivious when it comes to feelings. I don't have them. I don't do emotions. I..” She huffs. “I can't return your feelings and I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to do that. So.”

 

“I'm not asking you to.”

 

“But you can't want to live with a woman you like – love? - when she just thinks you're fun around but anything serious is completely out of the questions because you never know if either of you live to see the next day,” Michelle states.

 

“I don't need a promise of forever! I want you, because you are you and you know the world, you've seen the worst and you may not want to live but you do because you want to help others. You can't be emotionless, but I'm not waiting for you to tell me you love me all the time, maybe not ever. I just want to have some kind of life with you. Together. Hopefully never raising children, I couldn't wish this life for anyone,” John answers and Michelle has to kiss him.

 

(If she'd remember the first time, she might realise there's something wrong, she's gaining weight and having morning sickness. But John's words don't make her realise. Maybe it's good they don't.)

 

**

 

Suzie stares at the woman in front of her. "And who is this?" she asks from Blue, not even bothering to hide the fact that she doesn't really want any strangers even though it was her idea in the beginning.

 

"This, my darling, is Michelle. She'll be joining us on our trip to the forest, making sure we won't get killed on the journey. Also you can talk with her about stuff if you want, so you're not stuck with only me," Blue answers hiding a smile at the tone Suzie has taken.

 

"Ah. Okay then. Hello Michelle, my name's Suzie. What do you think about this stupid chaos we're living in?" Suzie asks and Michelle looks at her inquiring, trying to find out what it's okay to say and what not.

 

"I'm not sure. I mean, I'm used to it, I think it's the normal way of life. I know that," she lowers her voice and whispers the rest of the sentence in Suzie's ear, "Peace would be easy enough to achieve if we just wanted to."

 

Suzie nods. "You're alright, then. Shall we leave so we'll reach our destination before nightfall?" she asks smirking and her father nods.

 

"We'll be going to the furthest forest with no people in it, because I know it'll be the best place for my - experiment," Blue answers and falters at the end when he realises he's telling her something about what's going on. He hadn't mentioned it before and he hadn't meant to, now, either.

 

Suzie looks at him questioningly. "What exactly are we going to do there?"

 

Michelle seems interested. "Yes, will I be able to find it out, too?"

 

"If we all survive, then you, Suzie, find the answer out, and Michelle, yes," Blue answers, cursing his words. "Let's go, now!"

 

The two women follow after him, Suzie in the middle, so that Blue and Michelle can keep her in the safest position (though they all know that were there someone on the rooftop, s/he'd have a good and clean shot at any one of them).

 

**

 

When the war was nothing as it is now, when it was only a few crazy people (where the few means a few hundreds and of course all the soldiers), it was easy to shrug it off, thinking that soon it would be over, that it could not, in any possible situation, go on for longer than perhaps a few months. After a year, though, people started losing faith and gaining guns and other ways of protecting and defending themselves. No one thought they were safe at home, no one wanted to be the first to die, they wanted to live, and live long at that.

 

Thirty years later it was obvious that the war and chaos would not cease, not easily and every citizen had already bought a gun. Protecting oneself became top priority, protecting family was secondary.

 

**

 

Mear wears Alexander's clothes, they're about the same size. He wanders around the apartment waiting for Alexander to call him for dinner. Dianne is sitting in the guest room and Mear kind of thinks it odd but he's still refrained from saying anything. After all, he's a killer, he doesn't live here, he's just hunting.

 

And suddenly the walls feel like they are closing in and Mear thinks he's been inside for far too long. He walks into the kitchen and when he reaches Alexander, pulls him by the collar away from the oven and turns him around.

 

“Give into me,” he whispers and sees the fear in Alexander's eyes (no matter what he'd decided of not fearing). “Will you?”

 

“What do you want from me?” Alexander asked, backing up into a cupboard.

 

Mear smiles a predatory smile. “I'll take everything from you. Right now I need to get out, and you're coming with me.” He isn't really feeling quite as demanding, more like needing to get out, having no other option, but he tries to not show this to Alexander and apparently he manages.

 

Somehow Mear isn't surprised, at all, by Alexander's next question. “What about Dianne?” He decides not to answer verbally, only by pulling him with him until they reach the door.

 

“We're coming back alive, alright? I still haven't killed you and I won't let anyone else, either.”

 

Alexander says nothing when they leave the safety of his underground lair.

 

**

 

There's only a handful of people Lucy will not kill in a blink of an eye. One was Dave. Others include people she's got to know at bars or hunting trips. She's not used to having to stop her hand when she's just about to throw a knife, but she does it when one of those hunters come into her view.

 

She's wondering why he isn't alone and why he is in the open. He, if anyone, should know not to do such an amateur's mistake. She climbs up in the ruins of the building she thinks was the mayor's office some fifty years earlier. She may be a hunter, but she puts her “friends” first and he is one of them, even if she isn't certain of his name, and she starts scanning the area for other hunters. When she spots none, she smiles and decides to go meet him and his companion, hoping he'll remember her and not kill her. Well, she'll take the risk.

 

When Lucy approaches them, she sees him noticing her and preparing to fight until she sees recognition in his eyes.

 

“Hey,” she says.

 

“Hi,” he answers. The other man stays quiet.

 

“Something's wrong,” she states, “you weren't even paying attention nor walking in the shades.” She's curious and tries to look his face. The quiet man stays stoic and says nothing.

 

He doesn't answer verbally but gives hints and she reads them. “Lucy, right?” he asks and she nods. “Mear.”

 

She's just remembered he used to call himself Nightmare and wonders if the name comes from that. She nods again and looks questioningly at the other man.

 

“Alexander.” The name holds a lot, and Lucy can read victim, death, mine but she knows she's missing so much more.

 

“Want some company?”

 

Mear's anguished eyes give her an answer and she smiles.

 

**

 

Gaia can sense something she's not planned is going on, but she can't find out what it is. Werner's with her and she knows it's not his doing.

 

Gwendolyn isn't answering her when she tries to contact the woman.

 

“Werner, can you feel it?” Gaia asks with her eyes closed. She's trying to read minds but can't concentrate because of the pressure.

 

“Yes. What is it?” Werner asks.

 

“I have no idea.”

 

**

 

Once, people were happy.

 

Once, they believed in peace.

 

Then a man started going around, asking them if they were happy and telling them everything he thought was wrong in the society.

 

A few weeks later, people were starting to get angry.

 

**

 

Suzie is staring in front of her and wondering how there ever can be another trio moving around when everyone knows how dangerous it is to be out in the open. She nods to them and asks Michelle and Blue whether they're going to ignore the other group or not. It's Michelle who answers and her answer is no. She then proceeds to walk to the other group and greet the only woman like they were friends.

 

"I'm sorry," Blue whispers in Suzie's ear. "If they will cause anything, I will have to change and that makes you a target even though I'm pretty sure every one of them will be aiming at me. But at least in my form they won't be able to kill me."

 

Suzie's eyes fly open. "Change? You. Bird?" It's like she can't form any real sentences and she's just trying to form words.

 

"Yes. Big bird," Blue answers before turning his gaze back at Michelle, who's walking towards them with the other trio.

 

"These are Lucy, Mear and Alexander. Lucy is the closest thing to a friend I've had, we meet once in a while at some bar and we have a truce with her, especially now that I'm working. Mear is her hunter friend and Alexander is his - what did you say?" Michelle tells the two of them and then turns around to look at Alexander and Mear.

 

"I -" Mear stops and thinks for a while what he should say. "We're lovers."

 

"What?" Lucy exclaims. "I thought you only --"

 

"It's not like that, you know. It happened. And he's my future victim, too."

 

Lucy sighs. "I hate it when you do that, you know. The last time you nearly got killed yourself, because you gave into it so much. You know I like you a lot and I don't want to see you suffer."

 

Blue interrupts them. "I'm Blue and this is - hm. This is my daughter Suzie." He thinks it better not to explain the situation to them - he hasn't told Michelle anything, why should these three stranger need to know more?

 

"Where are you heading?" Mear asks, eagerly. It seems as though he'd like to follow them.

 

"Out of the city," Suzie answers and gazes at forests. "Towards fields."

 

Mear goes white as do his companions. "Are you out of your minds? It's the worst place, you know how much they hunt there!"

 

Blue grins. "But I'm feeling like nothing will come to us. And I really need a big space, you'll see when we get there. If you want to join us, that is. The more the merrier." He doesn't add but knows they're all thinking, that it'll be safer if there's a larger group; hunters don't like groups because there's a greater chance of them dying themselves.

 

Intrigued, Alexander speaks up: "You said your name was Blue?" Blue nods. "As in Purple and Blue?" Blue nods again, confused how anyone could know about them. "Why is there no peace then?"

 

Suzie is the one to reply: "Because I'm still Suzie."

 

"Oh," Alexander gasps. "Oh."

 

"What are you talking about?" Michelle asks but she receives no answer.

 

Alexander turns to Mear. "Would you still want to kill me, if the peace was approaching?" he asks. "Or would you stay with me and help me bury Dianne?"

 

Mear contemplates. "If peace was coming - I would let you live. I wouldn't be as cruel as to kill you when people were leaving --" he cuts off and then says: "You should never, ever, ask questions like that in public. It's too dangerous."

 

Nothing happens. They wait for a while. And suddenly they notice Michelle has disappeared.

 

**

 

“Gwendolyn!” Gaia shouts. Then she mutters to herself: “That stupid girl, why isn't she answering to me when I call, she should, something is wrong!”

 

Werner watches her pacing around and wonders if he could be of any help.

 

“No, you couldn't. Unless you can find Gwendolyn and bring her here. Leave, now, I can't concentrate with your thoughts filling my head!”

 

Werner tries not to think about anything when he leaves the room. Gaia still shouts after him: “Really, no, I'm not angry, why do you think so?” He doesn't answer, verbally, but something flies towards him. He ducks and runs away.

 

**

 

The space is large and no one approaches them. "Move back, will you?" Blue asks and everyone does. He takes his place and closes his eyes and a few seconds later there's a blue bird in his stead.

 

Suzie had known this would happen but she's still very surprised. "You're so pretty, Blue," she whispers and tears get into her eyes. "But I - I can't." She turns around and suddenly her mind is filled with all the times Blue - father - told her he loved her and suddenly she realises it's enough. "Or maybe - would you change back, please?"

 

The other three just look, not wanting to interrupt or maybe still a bit shocked by the fact that Blue did, in fat turn into a bird in front of them. And now back into a human.

 

"I love you," Blue says.

 

"I love you, too," Suzie answers and suddenly she's kissing him and changing, changing. "And I'd like it if you called me Purple. Now. We have a world to save, right? I'm feeling quite weak," she notices and drops on her knees. "Oh lord. I didn't know it could be this horrible."

 

Blue's by her side, holding her.

 

"So," Alexander says. "Will it happen?"

 

Mear looks at him. "What?"

 

Purple answers: "Peace, of course. Yes. But there's so much death, so much - I can't even hold it well. Did you know that when you've been in a wrong form for so many years and then suddenly you realise who you are, you'll feel like hell? I feel their deaths, Blue. I can feel them all and I didn't think it was possible. I thought that as it's already happened, I wouldn't feel a thing. I hate this, you know. I hate you, still. I love you, but I hate you."

 

Lucy opens her mouth: "Who are you two?"

 

"My name is Life, but I like to be called Purple," Purple answers swirling her purple dress. "This is Guardian o' Life, which is to say Blue, which is to say my fiancée. I had no memories of this fact until a few moments ago, so this is quite new to me at the moment."

 

"It's normally just Guardian, you know," Blue says and kisses her forehead. "I missed you so much." They smile at each other.

 

"Stop it. Let's start planning," Alexander says. "You have to be ready for everything. Because there will be people who will hate you. A lot of people who will hate you. And the masterminds, who are behind this all, because this has to be orchestrated by someone, you know. We must find people to help us."

 

Mear can't stop staring at Alexander. He's finding so many new sides from the man and he smiles slowly. "Can I kiss you?" he asks.

 

Alexander turns around abruptly. "You're asking? What happened to 'I take what is mine'?" he asks and looks into Mear's eyes inquiringly. "You never asked - you just take. You took Dianne from me, then you took Dianne, then you took my thoughts, the way I lived, the wishes I had, the delirium I was in. You took me apart and you took me."

 

"You seem so whole now, though," Lucy says from next to him even though she feels a bit like she's interrupting something.

 

The look on Alexander's face looks like nothing he's given before, so horrible and deadly. "Oh, I am usually whole in situations like this. I am usually complete in completely manic situations even if I did break when you took my wife, Mear. But to answer your question, why don't you keep taking? There's a time when I get enough and won't give into you or give you what you want, but you'll notice it yourself."

 

So Mear grabs Alexander and kisses him, angrily, and they're biting at each other's lips. Blue, Purple and Lucy move away and start planning, not wanting to interrupt anymore since it seems important for both of the men to let something out, something that's been lying inside of them since they met on Alexander's bed, with Mear fucking Dianne's dead body.

 

**

 

"No. You have to answer to me," Gaia shouts at the woman standing in front of her. "Why didn't you?"

 

"Heda told me not to."

 

"WHAT?" Gaia stares incredulous at Gwendolyn. "Where is he? Is he here? Did he come to you? TELL ME."

 

Gwendolyn looks scared and she opens her mouth: "He's coming himself. He said there was something he needed to talk about with you. Something pretty important, I understood from his tone."

 

"It must be if he interrupts my plans and my people. Very well, you may leave, I'll wait for him here and talk to him as soon as he comes in."

 

Gwendolyn leaves the room, sighing, and Gaia stays on her place and looks at the door, waiting for it to open at any given moment. When her brother finally steps in, she sees red. "What on earth made you do that? Why are you interrupting my plans? What is your excuse?”

 

**

 

Michelle knows what it feels like when she's bleeding and she totally is now. She looks around but sees nothing in the darkness. She smells the air and is quite sure that she's just fallen under ground.

 

"Is there anyone there?" she asks, with quite loud voice because she doesn't care if she dies and she thinks it's quite probable if she's been taken down under without her wanting to.

 

"Yesss," a voice hisses and she turns to its direction. "Welcome down, Michelle. We here, down under, disapprove of peace talk and we have ears everywhere. It's not been a pleasure listening to you, I can assure."

 

Her breath hitches. "So, this is the end, yeah?"

 

She can feel the smile in the voice when it speaks again: "Oh no. It's never this easy, is it? Why would we let you die so easily when all you've said has pointed to the direction that you want to die? We don't want you to die if you do. We want you to live, to suffer, to feel the pain we inflict on others, on everyone close to you, everyone you've ever loved. But there's not many of those anymore, is there? Your family is dead and the only one you have feelings towards is somewhere, probably dying - oh we know about him too, he should've been more careful, shouldn't he?"

 

Michelle hates the voice and the helplessness and she wonders if anyone anywhere is safe from the people the voice seems to have under its control. Or maybe voice is part of them.

 

"I can almost feel your thoughts," the voice says and suddenly there's light. "Come now, follow me. You don't want to even try to kill me, you would never find your way out and you would feel horrible for suffocating in here. So it's just better for you to follow me to our lair."

 

The voice now has a shape and it looks like a human being or something that used to be a human being. Michelle tries to figure out if it's a woman or a man but she can't; it has long dirty hair, but it could be either. She starts walking after it and tries not to hit her head on anything, as everything seems to be at least as dirty as the shape.

 

"I'm Haelion. I used to be something else, but Heda made us all change our names before he gave us new shapes. Now, I'll tell you a story on the way to our temple."

 

Michelle listens intently whilst wondering just how John and Blue and everyone is doing.

 

**

 

"Sibling rivalry doesn't even cover this all," Heda says and stares Gaia down. "You know, Mama would hate our rivalry but well, it's she who made us what we are. You know, I had always thought you would understand before anyone. That I would try to take all of you down, even Mama."

 

Gaia stares at him. Stares stares and can't quite understand the words he's saying. "So, Aelovic's death wasn't an accident. I had thought, for the longest time, that we were immortal, but that made me realise that even though we live lifetimes of our people, we still die. We can die and it's just too easy, only one stick can make the difference."

 

Heda smiles. He walks towards Gaia and sits down on the divan that is obviously waiting for him. "You were the wisest of the bunch."

 

"'Were'? Oh sod it, brother, you know as well as I do that I will not die and you will not make me and that we can take you down because we are many and you are one."

 

"You're forgetting souls and besides, Bellervue, Colleen and Deir are all dead," Heda answers and laughs when Gaia starts going through the connections in her head. "You won't find them there, I promise. It was fun, playing with them, taking them down one at a time. I still have Eolyn and Frade, but they'll be easy. I can't well take you down before them. And don't think about connecting them."

 

Gaia doesn't. She weeps silently. "I hate you," she says before disappearing.

 

It takes Heda a moment too long to realise where she's heading.

 

**

 

Michelle doesn't want to believe any of the words but she knows there's no other possibilities. "So we're nothing? Just - playthings?"

 

"Except for Life and Guardian - that's exactly right. Well, it's been easy for Gaia to use the two of them for the time being but now that they're regaining their memories, they'll want peace. And they'll make it. Sadly, you didn't."

 

Michelle looks at Haelion. "What do you mean?"

 

"You're floating. So's your unborn baby. Come on, now. We still have a long journey ahead of us. I'm sorry for your loss, by the way. I already sent someone to tell the news to the father."

 

Michelle feels her body lifting in the air and wonders how she hadn't even noticed that she was floating before now.

 

**

 

Blue whispers songs and makes the birds in the area follow him. "We're one but we're not. You're everything where I am not. I am just a shadow, walking a step behind you. I am yours whereas you are never mine as completely," he tells Purple in the song, though he doesn't use these words. He shakes his head and starts writing a new song on the leaves, on the people, on the animals.

 

Lucy sticks with them and asks, time and time again, what they are, why they are, can she help. "Is my brother dead?" she blurts out when she has asked everything for too many times already. Then she starts crying. "Of course he is."

 

Purple takes her into her arms and sings a lullaby, something about dead finding living and way around, life filling everything once and for all, everything going fine even when chaos is the one ruling.

 

The three of them look like a family, where the daughter is too old-looking to be Blue and Purple's even though in reality Blue and Purple are so many times older.

 

They wait for something, and they wait for everything, and when the animals start trusting them and believing, they know it's beginning. "Alexander," Purple calls out. "You are the prophet."

 

Alexander nods and takes Mear's hand and they walk to the trio. "And he's the one to wake me up from eternality."

 

"It's time," Purple says. "But. I want to tell you. It won't be long."

 

"I have never thought it would come to this," Alexander admits and laughs. He turns to look at Mear. "You should kill me now. You must kill me now."

 

Mear looks panicked but Purple tells him it's okay. "He'll be back. Do it."

 

**

 

In the beginning of the war there was a prophecy. Or maybe it was in the beginning of time but it was remembered again in the beginning of the war. It told about Purple and Blue, and their love that was to be destroyed as soon as peace had been achieved. Alexander tries to forget it.

 

**

 

In the end of the peace, brought by Purple and Blue's love, there was something dark and misty turning everything and everyone around.

 

No one knew what it was, not even the mist itself.

 

It was the beginning, it was the man who began talking about death and wrongs. The man, who killed first.

 

**

 

Alexander remembers.

 

And he talks to Gaia as if he was her equal. In a way he is.

 

"It is time," he says and she agrees.

 

"Heda will try to destroy all of you," she says and sobs. "I never wanted this."

 

"You never wanted apocalypse by them, either."

 

"No."

 

He gasps air when he comes back to himself.

 

**

 

When Gaia thought everything was fine, she created a universe of her own. Then she asked Mama if she could have Life and Guardian and Mama had said yes. Mama had always liked her a lot an given a lot to her even when she'd said no to her sisters and brothers. Mama was the oldest and the wisest and she saw a lot of herself in Gaia.

 

"Mama," Gaia had said after she'd got Life and Guardian, "How will I make sure that everything stays in order?"

 

"You break them apart," Mama had answered. "You must, for them to find the truest of happinesses would be the same as if you destroyed the world yourself. And you don't want that."

 

Mama loved lying to people and she didn't care if it was her youngest daughter.

 

"Alright," Gaia had answered and wandered off. She'd told Heda she'd got Life and Guardian but she hadn't seen the flash of jealousy in his eyes.

 

"Mama," Heda had gone and said a while later. "Why didn't I get Life and Guardian, why did you give me Death and Desperation?"

 

"Because you love killing, you love chaos. You love them more than you could ever love Life, even your own, and she loves Life more than you love Death. You will find it all out in time, and you will know I did the right decision, even though then you will think I did the wrong decision," Mama had answered. "Now, go play with your humans. You'll have time to play with hers, eventually."

 

Mama was cruel, there was no denying of it. Everyone knew it and no one would deny it.

 

Except perhaps Gaia.

 

**

 

When Gaia finally had got Life and Guardian meet each other, she'd thought it about time. She'd told Life to call her Mother because she wanted to feel like one, even though she knew she could never be a mother, in any universe, anywhere. When she'd cried about it to her Mama, she had been told that Life could carry a child. She was so angry but she still let Guardian and Life get know each other. Even if she really didn't want them to live happily ever after.

 

And when she got to break them apart, she was so happy.

 

**

 

"I'm sorry," Gaia says to the mirror and to the dolls and to everyone. No one. The empty room. "Mama, I need you," she whispers and hears Mama's voice inside her head. "Mama why?"

 

"Because I knew it."

 

"You knew it."

 

"You will bring it all to light. Or maybe they will. Everything will be just fine as soon as you stop playing and let them work on their own, let them do all the work. Life is good at this stuff and with Guardian, they will make the chaos into order and the world will turn into a happy place with rainbows and kittens and everything," Mama says and Gaia stares at her. She laughs. "Oh no, I'm not serious. Except for the fact that you should let them be and make it on their own."

 

**

 

Alexander opens his eyes and notices Mear hovering over him. "Hey," he says and grins. "So. How are we doing here?"

 

Mear jumps and grabs Lucy's hand. "He's awake!" he shouts and gazes back at Alexander. "We've plans. A lot of plans. Lots and lots and lots of plans. Like you know." He has been turning into a love smitten kitten for the last month and Lucy rolls her eyes before leaving the two of them alone. She's going to get Purple and Blue so they can make new plans.

 

"Hah. So. Have you figured out how to win this, make peace come back?" Alexander whispers.

 

"Without you? No. The colours are still anxious about what you will be saying, they've been saying nothing real can be made or planned without your knowledge and I believe them," Mear answers and for a while his mind wanders to Dianne and he wonders what she might say, what kind of person she was.

 

"Colours. So you call them that instead of Purple and Blue which, in my opinion, would be easier and less confusing. Anyway, I hope to talk to them soon but before I do; a kiss?"

 

And Mear kisses him like it's the last time they'll be able to kiss or be together and it's very desperate.

 

"Lucy wasn't kidding when she said you fell in love with the last long-time victim, was she?"

 

"It never was like this," Mear answers and moves into the side when Purple and Blue come in with Lucy.

 

"I saw Gaia."

 

Purple stares hard into Alexander's eyes, wondering, needing the information and she tells him to stay quiet. And he stays quiet whilst Purple roams through the meeting and then gives it all to Blue.

 

"Something's wrong. Something's horribly wrong and no one can change it and your Mother couldn't help it."

 

"Heda is my uncle. Who is he? I never knew of him before this."

 

**

 

When Gaia left Mama, she took her universe with her and she cried herself to sleep on most nights because she could never have real love and she could never have her own family. She raised Life without letting her know she was there. Until she had to, until she wanted to. Until she wanted to feel like a mother, until she wanted to think she was a grandmother to everything that was alive and that was her daughter.

 

Gaia loves Life more than her own life because Life made her feel like a woman, like a mother.

 

She hates herself for listening to Mama.

 

"I hate you," she tells Mama the next time they meet and she hits her and then she's sobbing again. "I'm older than anything and still I cry for mere humans? Still I cry for Life who isn't even my daughter? Why?"

 

"Because you love life."

 

**

 

Blue starts making new plans on the previous ones thinking about what he's now learned from Alexander's discussion with Gaia.

 

"We can't really just attack, if her brother is behind this all. I'm pretty sure they're watching us from above, making sure we don't ruin their plans - or his, whatever," he says to Purple and shakes his head.

 

**

 

Michelle steps into the lair and blinks. "What?" she gasps. "Who are these?"

 

"The ones that died, the ones that die, the ones that were there from the beginning. The ones that never believed in peace, or even if they did, never tried to get peace. The ones that told about peace, about possibilities, the ones that thought that peace would be nothing. Everyone that has ever died is here," Haelion answers.

 

Michelle walks around and looks at everyone, simply looks and wonders if she knows any one of them, if anyone of them has died by her hand, if she's the one that ruined some of their life - if some of them are her family.

 

"Why am I here?"

 

"We need you. You are going to destroy those people you were walking with. You are going to destroy them completely and you are going to enjoy it."

 

"You destroyed me. Why do you think I would - could - enjoy it?" Michelle asks and is blinded by a bright light.

 

"I will make sure of that," a new voice, a soft baritone, demanding but not, says.

 

"Ah, master Heda," Haelion says, "you see I've brought her to you."

 

Heda nods at Haelion and smiles. "Yes, thank you, Haelion. I will take her with me now, would you go to aisle Gread, there will be three new persons arriving and someone needs to be there telling them what's happening?"

 

Haelion nods and hurries away. Heda takes Michelle's hand. "We're off now, Michelle. I will give you a new name, but you will keep your career as a hunter."

 

Michelle tries to fight it, but she feels herself vanishing with Heda and wondering what is to come.

 

**

 

John tries to believe it isn't true, that he isn't dead, that it isn't Michelle's fault.

 

"You can't blame her for saying out loud things that we're all thinking, and by all, I really mean everyone. Yes, there are people who love the chaos and who love the war and killing and dying, but still, in the back of our minds, every one of us really wants peace, because we want to know what it's like to lead a normal life, to have children and have them live somewhere without any guns," he tells the ghost.

 

**

 

Michelle says no and no and no.

 

"But there's no way you can be against my ideas. You can't not obey me, human," Heda tells her and smiles.

 

"I will and I can and really, I am not a puppet."

 

"But I am more than a mere human, you can't compete with my mind, you can't."

 

But even as he says this he notices her vanishing.

 

"Haelion, find out what Michelle is. Apparently she wasn't a mere human."

 

**

 

"I called her back," Purple says.

 

The other four turn to look at her, interested. "Who?"

 

"Michelle. She - her spirit hadn't vanished completely, so I called her back. She will be soon here."

 

Alexander stares at her. "If her spirit is still around--"

 

"No, I'm sorry. She was gone too long."

 

Mear seems stricken and walks away. Alexander follows after him and the three staying behind wonder, what is going on. Though some of it they already know.

 

**

 

"You are what you are in what you were and you know what you know for what you know must exist. If you don't know something, it does not exist because you are what we are but you are bigger and greater and more. You are nothing like us, but you are everything we are, you are a thought, you are a mind, you are a human but you are not. You are so great, you must be more, you are the greatest and most beautiful in everything and every way."

 

Tomas lets the woman talk, he doesn't stop her nor does he listen to her. His victim is sitting with the woman, pale and worried and wondering. Tomas thinks he must thank Hans for the replacement, she seems to be working even better than the last one.

 

"Are you ready to talk to me?" Tomas asks.

 

"Yes," the victim answers.

 

Tomas smirks. "So tell me."

 

(In the background the woman keeps on talking and telling about the future, and if Tomas listened, he would soon realise she's not crazy, that in actuality she knows stuff and tries to forget by pouring it all out to others, so they will get infected by the Knowledge someone has given her.)

 

**

 

In everything, there is a beginning and an end.

 

That's what's usually thought.

 

But Mama knows it's not true, that it can't be true.

 

Because that would mean she has an end and that she is mortal.

 

**

 

When the war started, some people believed in guns. Now, all that everyone believes in, are the guns.

 

Peace is a thought in the back od their minds but nothing that can ever happen. Peace - as they say - is the thought of the enemy and if you mention the word, you're too likely to die. So no one dares to.

 

(And if they dare and if they don't die, they never tell, they keep on believing that in actuality, peace must come.)

 

**

 

"Mear," Alexander says.

 

"Why do you let me do the things I do?" Mear asks.

 

They're on the field, they're walking towards the woods, on alert all the time.

 

"I need you to do it all to me, otherwise I couldn't work, I wouldn't be alright, I wouldn't be me anymore."

 

"Do you want any of it?" Mear asks, suddenly so small and fragile.

 

Alexander smiles. "You don't even know how easy it would be for me to take you apart. And I will do that, rest assured, because you did it for me." He doesn't give a straight answer and Mear can see that he won't give anything more. So he cups his face with his hands and kisses him for all he's good for.

 

"Love is so overrated," Alexander mumbles into the kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Blue's mind everything seemed alright, for the moment. Everything had went white after the first bomb had hit the headquarters of the evil masterminds but he can see people crawling away from the basement floor door.

 

"Ready?" he asks Purple and when she nods, they run. They hold hands and wish for everything good and they tell their love is real and they kiss, kiss, kiss.

 

And everything goes black.

 

**

 

"So you're not going to do it again?" Mama asks. "Because, you know, they will destroy the whole universe if you don't. And I thought you loved life."

 

"I do. But I don't know if I love Life, Purple, more, and if I do, shouldn't I give her happiness? Shouldn't I let her have what she's always wanted, what she has always craved? Isn't that what mothers are supposed to do? Isn't that what you've done?"

 

Mama laughs, a sincere laugh. "You are so naïve, my child. Did you not realise I had it all planned?"

 

"The deaths of your children?" Gaia asks, shocked. "You had it planned? Don't you even care about me?"

 

"Oh, I love all of you. But they weren't the first, this has all happened before. Even you are not the first, but you're the first who changed, who made me think again, think that maybe I should show my love in another way. I love chaos, I love planning. You are too sweet, I see now. I had thought I'd found someone to compete with my wit but it seems that that hasn't happened," Mama tells her and shakes her head. "I am not going to kill you or make you forget. I want to let you do whatever you wish, as of now."

 

Gaia seems to be thinking. "So, they will destroy my whole universe with their love?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Maybe I have to break them apart. Not yet, though. They still have something to do."

 

"Excellent. I shall be with your younger siblings if you need me. Heda is in the prison, I'm sure you want to visit him."

 

Gaia nods and hugs Mama before she leaves. "Let us part in good graces. I do love you."

 

"And I, you."

 

**

 

"What are you doing?" Blue asks.

 

"I'm trying to understand how these work," Purple answers, holding a bra. "I mean, I can't go in the world without these, I would be laughed at."

 

"Here, let me."

 

"You're a man, you're not supposed to know!"

 

"...you really think I was reborn a man all the lifetimes I spent on Earth?"

 

**

 

Dianne sleeps peacefully. Or that is what Alexander thinks when she watches her skeleton being buried. He holds Mear's hand and lets him keep him up.

 

"I really hate you," he whispers into Mear's ear. "I really do."

 

Mear nods. "Didn't wait for any less."

 

**

 

When everything went wrong, they knew it already. They being Gaia and her siblings.

 

Heda called for an emergency meeting.

 

“What is going on?”

 

“The destruction has began.”

 

**

 

“You have got to be kidding me,” Blue gasps when all his memories come back to him. Then he looks back at the unicorn in front of him. “Well. Fuck.”

 

The unicorn stares at him, looking so innocent and loving, but Blue knows better.

 

“Na-ah, you're not getting me so easily. I know your kind. You're evil and you are here to kill us. Even though – you want peace. Just you, if no one else. Because I know you, as well.”

 

**

 

“Gaia,” he says and thinks, thinks with all he can. He wonders if she can hear him.

 

When she doesn't answer or appear, he curses. He looks around and when he sees there's no one, he changes into bird and flies out and away, from the galaxy to the gates to Gaia's queendom.

 

**

 

Purple doesn't dare to wish everything could be easy. She smiles reassuringly at Blue who's waiting for her to tell him if their companions are going to make it.

 

“Alexander is near-immortal already. I wonder what would have happened if Mear had shot him before we met them. If he would have known us, known Mother. Anyway, he'll make it. Mear, I think, it'll take him a week to recover. Lucy didn't even get hit that badly, so she'll be right as rain very soon, walking tomorrow. She might be able today, but I don't think that a good idea,” Purple tells him and wonders if she should tell him that Michelle would be joining them the day after or keep it a surprise. Then again, a surprise of any kind in this kind of a situation might not be a good idea. “Also, Michelle will be joining us as of tomorrow, if she'll find us fast enough with the information I gave her.”

 

Blue stares at Purple for a while. “How?”

 

“Apparently I can talk to her, since I've already resurrected her. Oh, and I brought her lover to life, too, he'll join us the day after tomorrow. Though they will quite likely be spending the first day together talking, since it seems they have lots of unfinished business,” purple tells him and smiles. I think there might be hope for us.”

 

Blue nods and kisses her. “You are always amazing, you know that, right, love?”

 

Purple laughs in delight.

 

**

 

“When everything is lost

you will be found

and all you've loved the most

to you will be bound.

 

Take this, word of mine,

and try to think good things;

with them, in the future, you will shine

with whatever life to you brings.”

 

Alexander collapses and Purple nods her head I delight.

 

“It is he who will ring us what we need. We, Blue and me, will provide light, love and an army, you, Mear, will provide safety and danger and different kind of love, and you, Lucy, Michelle, John, you will provide him with knowledge, of guns, weapons of any kind, and Michelle and John of what we are fighting against.”

 

**

 

”The two divided will once be bound, live some time happily together, but when their time comes, once again shall they be divided, for known reasons to few, unknown for others.

 

“The greatest reason for anyone will be to stop the apocalypse from happening, for if they were to be together and find their finest happiness, however long that is to take, their love for each other will bring destruction and death, wipe the universe completely off the map.”

 

Joan listens to Mr. Stevenson in fascination. Something about the prophecy sounds familiar, but she is not sure why. When Mr. Stevenson opens his eyes and notices her, he stares in horror.

 

“You shouldn't have heard that,” he says. “Never you, they said. Anyone but you.” Then he hurries away, leaving Joan staring after hi and wondering what'd she do wrong. And why shouldn't she have heard him?

 

**

 

Lifetimes fly by, the world staying peaceful for a long while. Purple and Blue love and find new ways to love each other all the time.

Until Gaia thinks they're getting too happy.

 

Lifetimes fly by, the world changing all the while. Unicorns have been able to have been born and people treat these mysterious mythical animals as pets or loving creatures. But inside, the unicorns are being changed, caged and taught to hate human beings, everyone, who comes too close to them.

And suddenly – Blue must find Purple, even Gaia realises this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tomas picks the sharp knife. “I don't think you realise how much trouble you've been causing me,” he says dangerously and walks to the man laying down on a table, bound to it. “I will enjoy this, I am pretty sure you won't.”

 

The man's eyes are open wide because of fear. He stutters something along the lines “No”, “Please don't”, “Oh dear Life what have I done to deserve this?”

 

Tomas smiles and lays the sharp edge on the man's skin. He presses it until there are drops of blood coming out and the man is silently sobbing. He tsk's. “Poor boy, Jimmy. You really should have thought about who you were playing with.” He pulls the knife away and sees the immediate relief in Jimmy's eyes. “Oh no. That was just the beginning. Please, do continue talking until I make it impossible for you.” He presses the steel against Jimmy's chest and opens it. Jimmy shouts.

 

“What have I done tell me because really I don't know I don't know Idon'tknow!”

 

Tomas leers at Jimmy. Then he walks away. “I think I'll start with the hands. Or do you object?”

 

“Please don't please I'll do anything I'll tell you anything I will give you others to play with I will anything!”

 

And then Tomas is back and he grabs at Jimmy's right hand. “This will hurt a bit,” he states and pulls a nail out. He winces at Jimmy's shriek and wonders briefly if he should've worn earplugs but turns that down as a bad idea – he would not hear the begging, otherwise. It would've been a bother to always take the plugs out and insert them.

 

Then he moves onto second finger. “This might hurt a bit more,” he says and pulls. This time he's waiting for the scream so it doesn't sound so bad as the first time. He continues to pull all nails from the right hand as Jimmy pours out words and sentences that make no sense. After he's done, he tells the other man to pull himself together before they continue.

 

It takes a while, but Jimmy does pull himself together. Well, under the circumstances it could be thought of as that. At least he stops shouting and begging and reduces to tears. Tomas decides that's a good point to continue. So he gets needles. The needles, as he thinks of them and listens to Jimmy's sobs subsiding, lulling himself to believe that that was that.

 

He walks the few steps to the table and looms over Jimmy. Then he shows one of the needles to him. “Look, I decided to change my play things.” Jimmy stares at the needle and his face shows surprise and wonder, which Tomas quite correctly translates into 'he doesn't know what I'm going to do to him now. At all'.

 

He decides to change the fact and takes Jimmy's left hand. He pulls at the thumb and then starts, slowly, pushing the needle under the nail. The scream is so long and agonising Tomas decides it was a bit of stupid of him not to buy earplugs. He should have remembered how loud it always got at this point. (Though he does enjoy the screams, they are always an important part in this game. Still, it would be nice to be able to hear something the next day.)

 

He takes his time with the needles and it takes him fifteen minutes of beautiful screams and delightful agony on Jimmy's face to have all five fingers needled. He then looks down at Jimmy appraisingly and lets a smile invade his face. “I think I will leave you here for a while. I'm a bit thirsty. You want something?” He doesn't wait for an answer nor does he really wait for Jimmy to listen to him so he's not surprised by the silence. “I'll bring you water, then,” he says and leaves Jimmy wailing and sobbing.

Tomas picks the sharp knife. “I don't think you realise how much trouble you've been causing me,” he says dangerously and walks to the man laying down on a table, bound to it. “I will enjoy this, I am pretty sure you won't.”

 

The man's eyes are open wide because of fear. He stutters something along the lines “No”, “Please don't”, “Oh dear Life what have I done to deserve this?”

 

Tomas smiles and lays the sharp edge on the man's skin. He presses it until there are drops of blood coming out and the man is silently sobbing. He tsk's. “Poor boy, Jimmy. You really should have thought about who you were playing with.” He pulls the knife away and sees the immediate relief in Jimmy's eyes. “Oh no. That was just the beginning. Please, do continue talking until I make it impossible for you.” He presses the steel against Jimmy's chest and opens it. Jimmy shouts.

 

“What have I done tell me because really I don't know I don't know Idon'tknow!”

 

Tomas leers at Jimmy. Then he walks away. “I think I'll start with the hands. Or do you object?”

 

“Please don't please I'll do anything I'll tell you anything I will give you others to play with I will anything!”

 

And then Tomas is back and he grabs at Jimmy's right hand. “This will hurt a bit,” he states and pulls a nail out. He winces at Jimmy's shriek and wonders briefly if he should've worn earplugs but turns that down as a bad idea – he would not hear the begging, otherwise. It would've been a bother to always take the plugs out and insert them.

 

Then he moves onto second finger. “This might hurt a bit more,” he says and pulls. This time he's waiting for the scream so it doesn't sound so bad as the first time. He continues to pull all nails from the right hand as Jimmy pours out words and sentences that make no sense. After he's done, he tells the other man to pull himself together before they continue.

 

It takes a while, but Jimmy does pull himself together. Well, under the circumstances it could be thought of as that. At least he stops shouting and begging and reduces to tears. Tomas decides that's a good point to continue. So he gets needles. The needles, as he thinks of them and listens to Jimmy's sobs subsiding, lulling himself to believe that that was that.

 

He walks the few steps to the table and looms over Jimmy. Then he shows one of the needles to him. “Look, I decided to change my play things.” Jimmy stares at the needle and his face shows surprise and wonder, which Tomas quite correctly translates into 'he doesn't know what I'm going to do to him now. At all'.

 

He decides to change the fact and takes Jimmy's left hand. He pulls at the thumb and then starts, slowly, pushing the needle under the nail. The scream is so long and agonising Tomas decides it was a bit of stupid of him not to buy earplugs. He should have remembered how loud it always got at this point. (Though he does enjoy the screams, they are always an important part in this game. Still, it would be nice to be able to hear something the next day.)

 

He takes his time with the needles and it takes him fifteen minutes of beautiful screams and delightful agony on Jimmy's face to have all five fingers needled. He then looks down at Jimmy appraisingly and lets a smile invade his face. “I think I will leave you here for a while. I'm a bit thirsty. You want something?” He doesn't wait for an answer nor does he really wait for Jimmy to listen to him so he's not surprised by the silence. “I'll bring you water, then,” he says and leaves Jimmy wailing and sobbing.

 

**

 

“Whenever you're ready.”

 

Heda nods and turns to his army of the undead. “I shall now name some of you as my most loved followers.”

 

 

**

 

Michelle shivers and thinks she shouldn't be alive. Wasn't she dead just a moment ago?

 

She hears a voice in her head, a voice telling her to run to the forest, where she was going to. To avoid any dangers and hurry. To meet John who would be with them and who they would get there too, some way or another. With whatever it may cost.

 

(But how could anyone know about John? she wonders briefly but runs, runsrunsruns through the streets and past people who keep on giving her glances, staring at her and she realises they are bearing guns but they can't move, can't shoot her. And she wonders, if they could, would it hurt? Would she die again?)

 

**

 

John wakes up. He stares at his bare feet and notices a pile of clothes next to him. Fast, he puts them on and realises he's somewhere he doesn't know. How?

 

He hears a woman's voice in her head, singing voice, telling him to run run run for his life, to his love. Towards the forest that seems so dark.

 

He notices a gun in his clothes and he thanks the voice in his head, hears the smile in it as she tells him it was no problem, it was a necessary precaution because everyone is in the war and she can't afford to lose him, that Michelle would be hurt if he was to die - again.

 

And it's the again that gets in and makes him run, faster faster faster (using all the tunnels he knows to be there).

 

**

 

"Let's leave them alone, they need it," Purple says and she smiles so wonderfully broad smile that Blue can but wonder what she knows and is thinking about. He follows her out and takes her hand.

 

"What is going on?"

 

Purple shrugs and lets the sadness that was hidden under that smile creep on her face. "They need it. They need each other and the comforting words, all the words we could never give them, all the thoughts we could never share. She lost a child, he lost a child. Even though neither of them knew he existed. Oh. It brings memories."

 

"What are you saying?"

 

Purple pulls Blue's hand and she grasps so tightly at it that it hurts and she gives him her memories, all the repressed ones she never thought she'd share, not even with him, may they be so close.

 

"Oh," Blue gasps and embraces her. She holds onto him and criescriescries into his shirt. "I didn't know."

 

"I didn't remember."

 

And they stay like that, for a long while, until Mear calls for them.

 

**

 

Alexander takes Mear by his hand and hisses at him. "Come. I need. Oh what am I saying." He pulls the other man who follows easily.

 

Mear has been afraid of and afraid for Alexander since he found out the other man was more than a mere human being. And he wonders, now, idly, what he wants and how easily he'll give it.

 

(He's too far gone, he's too in love, he's so much in love that it hurts, hurts physically and emotionally and it just hurts. He hates himself, he wonders why he never listened to Lucy when she told him he'd be a lousy killer, really, a lousy one, because he was always oh so empathetic to so many of them and fell too easily in love with men he saw and tried to kill.)

 

Alexander takes him to their tent, the one they have shared since he came to, back from the dead, alive, after Mear had killed him because they had told him to.

 

"You need to relax," Alexander tells him calmly. And it's so wrong because Mear was the one to be calm, the one to dictate everything. How did it all turn around?

 

"I love you," Mear whispers, "and I'm so afraid of you."

 

Alexander laughs and pulls Mear into a kiss. A deep kiss, soul-searching kiss (and Mear wonders if that's exactly what Alexander is doing, if the other man can see his soul).

 

"I want you to forget."

 

Mear panics.

 

"Oh no. No no no. I want you to forget, for a while, what I am. Where we are. Be yourself - or the one you thought you were for so long. Just - take control, please, I need it from you. I really do need it."

 

Mear complies.

 

**

 

The death is everywhere, looms over everyone and everything. It has been there for years and it would like to stay forever.

 

But Purple will not allow it. For she is life and she knows that without life, death doesn't exist.

 

**

 

Aelovic was the oldest. When Bellervue came to be, Aelovic had already been given a universe. In every time and every place. When Heda was finally born, only his youngest older sister hadn't got a universe. And when she did, he was so jealous.

 

“Can I get her death?” he asked Mama, who just smiled at him and nodded.

 

When he left, she smirked and said, to no one in particular: “Just as it always goes.”

 

**

 

Gaia's life had never been so empty, she thought, when Heda appeared in front of her. "I have taken over your dead."

 

"I know," Gaia whispered, smiling faintly. "But I can't let you go on." She pursed her lips and closed her eyes and told her mother what she was about to do. When receiving no objections, she conjured a spear and lunged it at Heda. "I'm sorry."

 

Heda stared at her and wondered how he hadn't know this was to come.

 

"Werner, do come in. I need you to clean something for me," Gaia shouted and the man in question appeared at the door. He stared at Heda's body for a long while.

 

"Isn't that - your brother?"

 

"Was being the correct tense," Gaia nodded and walked to the door. She brushed his shoulder and whispered: "Please don't leave any traces of him."

 

Werner nodded and went to work.

 

**

 

"Oh you. What are you even doing here?" Mear asks Michelle who randomly appeared next to him.

 

"I'm here to look after you. Alexander seemed worried when you hadn't come back to the tent," she replies and sits down. "So. What's wrong? Tell me."

 

"I'm a killer."

 

Michelle rolls her eyes. "Yes, I know that and frankly, I think everyone does. Why is that a problem?"

 

"I'm a killer and I was going to kill Alexander. I love him. And how could he ever feel the way I feel for him as it is not possible? It just isn't."

 

Michelle sighs. "He does, if you haven't noticed. He really does. He looks at you so lovingly and wants us to stay away from you. Whatever you may think, it's all love. Just. He knows it's hard for you sometimes, to realise what's in front of your eyes. That friend of yours told him. Us. That you're really so insecure and that it is not a bluff."

 

Mear stares at Michelle. "She did? Oh god. Ain't I pathetic."

 

"Oh come off it. Take my hand and follow me, now," Michelle orders, offering her hand. After a while, Mear takes it and stands up. He looks into Michelle's eyes with a question in his own. "I want to show you something."

 

Together they walk back to the camp and Michelle lets go of Mear's hand. "Now, behind these bushes. They're not to see us, yet."

 

Purple is talking to Blue, animatedly and Alexander is listening in on the conversation, asking a question here and a question there.

 

"But what if--" he begins and then stops. He seems at loss with words, Mear notices, and that never happens when they're alone. "What if they die?"

 

Purple and Blue turn to stare at him. "They won't. You know we won't allow that. Never. You should realise that they mean much to us, too."

 

"I know what you think and yes, maybe Mear is my main concern. But I mean. You know."

 

"Oh," Purple gasps.

 

Mear doesn't hear anymore, he has only eyes for Alexander. Which is why he doesn't notice Michelle's bulging eyes and horrified expression until a moment later.

 

"Michelle? Are you alright?" he asks and shakes the woman in question. "Michelle!"

 

Purple, Blue and Alexander notice them and they all seem to fall silent.

 

"Oh no," Purple sighs. "Someone, go get John, she's not going to snap out of it otherwise. Though I'm afraid - this will last a while."

 

**

 

"You're not sacrificing us?"

 

"For the umpteenth time - we don't want you to die, ANY of you. I like you. I like anyone who's alive and not trying to kill everyone else off."

 

"But."

 

"No. It's just if. Not when. IF. Really, Michelle. Try to grasp at that thought."

 

“It's too horrible.”

 

**